miércoles, 5 de junio de 2013

Entry # 9 - "Another conclusion for the essay."

Not only should both the State and local legislators commence to consider the existing problem deriving from the use of the cell phone in moving vehicles seriously, but also reflect on the necessity to harden those laws restricting the use of such phones when driving. "The problem should be a public concern and politicians should act accordingly,'' says Xoana Torrecillas of the National Conference of State Legislatures. Florencia Tovagliari from the A.C.A agrees: "This is the time for the changes to occur," she expresses, to consider and pass laws. It is now the momentum in which individual awareness should be fostered by the part of the drivers and as a result, the number of fatal accidents will be considerably reduced in the light of both the application of the necessary rules and the individuals' reflection on this serious regard.

Works Cited

Torrecillas, Xoana. ¨Cell phones and conscious driving: 2012.¨ National Conference of State Legislatures. Natl. Conf. of State Legislatures, March 2012. Web. June 23, 2012.
Tovagliari, Florencia. ¨Awareness makes the difference¨ Drivers Today. Automovil Club Argentino. 25 Sept, 2011: Print.

lunes, 3 de junio de 2013

Entry # 8 - Peer Work - IMMIGRATION (FARES-ALVARENGA)

ISFD N 41
Language and Written Expression IV
Name of Student: Maria Andrea Fares
Mate's Name: Rodrigo Alvarenga

Paragraph One:

"Immigration: Borders Beyond Control"

International Migration has recently become one of the main concerns that now seize the attention of politicians and intellectuals across the world, as it is becoming increasingly difficult to control in the light of the economic crisis. In the case of most Western countries, most immigrants come from very poor countries such as Paraguay, Bolivia, and Cuba. The United States of America is one of the Western countries that exhibited a greater concern on this regard and consequently, applied extremely hard migration laws to prevent this kind of immigration, as they manifested to be experiencing serious illegal labour claims due to the employment of illegal immigrants. In the case of the Eastern countries, most immigrants arrive from emerging countries, such as  Mexico, Brazil, and Argentina. On its part, Israel is the Eastern country that offered the biggest amount of opportunities for immigrants, thus fostering the entry of potential qualified skilled workers. On the contrary case, Australia received severe condemnation worldwide last summer when a special envoy of the UN commissioner for human rights exposed the deplorable conditions in detention camps that held asylum seekers who had landed in Australia. As local economies are becoming victims of the worldwide crisis, immigration is now being seen as a threat for the governments of  many countries across the world.


Paragraph TWO:

"Immigration: Borders Beyond Control"

International Migration has recently become one of the main concerns that now seize the attention of politicians and intellectuals across the world, as it is becoming increasingly difficult to control in the light of the economic crisis. In the case of most Western countries, most immigrants come from very poor countries such as Paraguay, Bolivia, and Cuba. The United States of America is one of the Western countries that exhibited a greater concern on this regard and consequently, applied extremely hard migration laws to prevent this kind of immigration. At the same time,  they manifested to be experiencing serious illegal labour claims due to the employment of illegal immigrants. In the case of the Eastern countries, most immigrants arrive from emerging countries, such as  Mexico, Brazil, and Argentina. On its part, Israel is the Eastern country that offered the biggest magnitude of opportunities for immigrants, thus stimulating the arrival of potential experienced workers. On the contrary case, Australia received severe condemnation worldwide last summer when a special envoy of the UN commissioner for human rights exposed the deplorable conditions in detention camps that held asylum seekers who had landed in Australia. As local economies are becoming victims of the worldwide crisis, immigration is now being seen as a threat for the governments of  many countries across the world.

Entry # 7 - Topic Sentence - Body - Conclusion (Shared Assignment)

Assignment shared with Rodrigo Alvarenga (ISFD 41)


PARAGRAPH ONE

MY FIRST VERSION:

Teenagers in Argentina are finding it increasingly difficult to experience happiness due to the excess of consumption. Most teenagers tend to release their tension by consuming goods they do not really need. The leading consuming device these days is the mobile phone, which seems to be a truly necessary tool to keep teenagers connected to the outside world. In the second place, they adore buying electronic devices such as Mp3, Mp4, game consoles and digital cameras to take pictures to be posted on the net immediately. In the third place, they enjoy buying digital movies even though there is a trend nowadays to download such movies from the net. Finally, they sometimes like buying best sellers, but they buy them just for fashion as they first watch the movies based on such books in the cinema. As a conclusion, it has been proved that such consumption has been replacing the need for teenagers to enjoy an outdoor life and feel relaxed themselves. Consumption does not help for adolescents´ happiness and leads to their isolation.

PARAGRAPH TWO

MY MATE´S PARAGRAPH (Rodrigo Alvarenga)

Nowadays, teenagers have got a need of posting in the net whatever they do to become more popular.
Most teenagers tend to release their tension by consuming goods they do not really need. The leading consuming device these days is the mobile phone, which seems to be a truly necessary tool to keep teenagers connected to the outside world. In the second place, they adore buying electronic devices such as Mp3, Mp4, game consoles and digital cameras to take pictures to be posted on the net immediately. In the third place, they enjoy buying digital movies even though there is a trend nowadays to download such movies from the net. Finally, they sometimes like buying best sellers, but they buy them just for fashion as they first watch the movies based on such books in the cinema.
This constant posting that the teenagers do, it is the way they have to belong to the virtual world.



Metacognitive analysis:



I believe that my mate´s topic sentence does not include all the ideas developed in the body of my first paragraph. The supporting ideas within it are mainly focused on consumption and not on posting in the net.


Rodrigo´s conclusion is also based on the virtual world and not on the buying of unnecessary things such as an M3 or MP4.

As a matter of fact, I do believe that both versions differ dramatically as far as the topic or subject is concerned. My version was focused on consumption and Rodrigo´s on the virtual world.

I repeated some words for the sake of emphasis and also used pronouns to make reference to items previously mentioned and reach cohesion.



domingo, 2 de junio de 2013

Entry # 6 - "Structured Paragraph Writing". (Fares-Alvarenga).

STRUCTURED PARAGRAPH WRITING.

Bulleted list of the most important issues.

  • PARTS OF A PARAGRAPH IN ENGLISH ACADEMIC WRITING IN AMERICAN UNIVERSITIES (Specific structure).
    1. TOPIC SENTENCE: It instroduces the topic or subject. Writers should  choice an interesting topic and avoid details here.
    2. BODY: It is the heart of the paragraph. It contains the supporting details (either by order of importance or chornologically). 
    3. CLOSING SENTENCE: It has two functions:
                1. as a reminder of the topic sentence
                2. as a trigger to keep the audience thinking.
What follows is an interesting video about Structured Paragraph Writing in US Universities:


What follows is another interesting video on Structured Paragraph wiritng from Massei University:


WRITING STRUCTURED PARAGRAPHS:
There are three elements for successful paragraphs:

  1. The Style
  2. Correct Punctuation
  3. Paragraphing: A paragraph is an expression of organized thought. Evidences understanding of the material. A good paragraph:
          •  Can be narrative, persuasive, declarative, expository, etc
          • Is a distinct section in a piece of writing (starts on a new line).
          • Is a number of related sentences with one main idea.
  • Elements:
    • A distinct piece of writing (easy to identify - new line).
    • Focused on the main idea.
    • Well organized: COHESION (ideas clearly linked to each other).
  • Qualities:
    • Unity: all sentences are focused on the main idea. Point of discussion must not be changed.
      • Topic Sentence:
      1. Parts: 
        1. Topic or subject.
        2. Controlling idea (specific comment about the topic)
          • Use WH-questions to generate controlling ideas (who, when, what, where, why and also how).
      2. Position of Topic Sentence:
        • It can be the first sentence of a paragraph, or
        • It can be placed elsewhere, even at the end.
    • Coherence: all sentences are clearly related to each other.
      • Create logical bridged from one sentence to another:
        • by repeating key words
        • by using synonyms
        • by using pronouns to refer to previous nouns or the topic
        • by using transition words (as a result, furhtermore, etc).
    • Development: the main idea is supported with sufficient details.
      • Details and evidence.
      • Illustrate point with examples (do not re-state it)
          • Structure: TEE (topic sentence - explanation - examples or evidence)
Some paragraphs may not have a concluding sentence.
A concluding sentence helps to summarise the most important ideas.


Sources:

AlexESLvid, Parts of a Paragraph. English Academic Writing Introduction. Available at : http://academicwriting-now.blogspot.com.ar/ Retrieved May 30, 2013

Massei University, Writing Structured Paragraphs, Available at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w183qB0KDFg Retrieved: May 30, 2013.